Jennifer Lang, 24 years old
Things not to do while dating a girl with anxiety someone to calm down just minimizes and delegitimizes what they are going through. And when a person with anxiety hears that another person is judging them, it can make the anxiety symptoms a lot worse. Avoid using statements that could come off as judgmental and instead be supportive; make it clear to your friend that you are there for them if they need to talk. It's all about when you say it. In the middle of someone having a panic attack is not the time.
There are so many things in my childhood that I wonder — did this cause my anxiety, or did my anxiety cause this? The more we think about how our anxiety makes us harder to love, the harder our anxiety hits things not to do while dating a girl with anxiety. If at all possible, say what you mean — exactly what you mean. For most of us, however, simply being straightforward can make a world of difference. We might come across as super jealous and insecure, because any situation that could mean something bad, does — at least in our minds.
The nerves, the butterflies, the excitement. The thoughts racing through your head and the feelings pulsating through your body. Now imagine that you suffer from crippling anxiety. How much more complex and challenging do you think it would be? Your new partner has probably had to battle various demons just to get to where you both are now.
Things not to do while dating a girl with anxiety
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Remember she is more than her symptoms. But be sensitive to the fact that her heart rate may go sky-high over things that to you seem small fry in the worry-stakes. She may get light-headed and even frequently faint. This is not her swooning over you. Sorry to burst your bubble. And she may have real trouble sleeping at night. Don't be surprised things not to do while dating a girl with anxiety you find her awake at 3am over-thinking just about everything. When she does get to sleep, anxiety often causes a lot of really awful nightmares. My nightmares during anxiety disorder attacks include fun stuff like sea monsters, the apocalypse, blood dripping from church ceilings… I think my mind wants to be a horror movie director.
Dating anyone is a challenge. Relationships aren't easy and take a lot of work -- we all know this. But there is a special kind of challenge involved when it comes to dating someone with anxiety. When an anxiety spell is coming on, there is no reason to siphon; there is no way to calm down until you just do calm down. It's something that can't be controlled and it can be very overwhelming for both parties. As someone who has been dealing with an anxiety disorder for most of my life, I can understand the baggage that my boyfriends are taking on as a result. I've come to terms with what I have on my plate, but I never stop to take a moment to appreciate and comprehend the struggles involved with making a relationship work from the other person's perspective.